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I masturbate, I didn't know it was a sin until I watched this movie, yes God yes,I am scared I don't know what to do.
#i #masturbate #depression #anxiety #disrespectful #jealous #low #self #esteem #anger
I feel like I need to be disciplined but I am to afraid to tell anyone I can do some really bad things and get away with it
#discipline #getaway #despair #bad
I don't really have a goal in life, I ve helped taking care of my family all my life, I feel that, when my mom and sick uncle are not longer around, the only thing left for me is make sure my niece and nephew are well taken care of and then kill my self
hmmmm... i don't know what to do. there's this boy from my school, we are friends for some months now and the last weeks we met almost every day, he wrote me textmessages all day long and he was a very good friend. but now, since 2 days, he doesn't answer. at night he sometimes came over to my place, so we could smoke a cigarette together. the last time i met him, he acted kind of strange and since then i haven't heard from him. i texted him yesterday evening but nothing!
what's wrong? i didn't do anything, why is he ignoring me right now? am i annoying or something?
it drives me crazy and i don't know what to do because i don't wanna run after him all the time.
i have to confess that this bothers me more than i want to. and this although i thought we are just friends.
I am a 17 year old male, and I really want to kill someone. I just want to do it because I think it would feel exhilarating. I want to feel the persons warm blood flow down my fingers going to my hands. Seeing and feeling the life empty from their body. I have no remorse, and have never killed anything before. I want to start with a human because it would be the best thing to ever feel. I should also state that I watch quite a bit of pornography and it is really hard to get hard, but I found out that blood and death works. That is one reason why I want to kill someone, but then again I also want to see the life leave them and be in fear watching me plunge a knife into their body. So it's a mixture of pleasure and sadistic thoughts to get off and watch murder first hand. I can't be the only one who has this, but why so young to have this? It makes me wonder, but then my thoughts are overtaken by the thought of death.
#death #murder #blood #masturbation #sadistic
i wish my partner would consider staying if i transitioned. nothing would change between us.
I've always been an A+ student. Not once did I get a B, not even an A-. Funny story; one time my teacher entered in the wrong grade and told me about it and how I thought I got an F in the class, even though it was a mistake, I started crying my eyes out. I didn't forgive myself when I showed up late to class or turned in a homework assignment 5 minutes late. That's not why I'm writing this confession. I cheat, a lot. I am a university student with perfect grades, and the only way I can get those grades is if I cheat. I will not pass the test, even if I studied day and night for it if I don't cheat on it. That started during my second semester in college and ever since, I've been lazy and discouraged and have no will or reason to continue on with school. The thing is, I know it's wrong, and even if I ever get caught, I will not care whatsoever. But I can't stop myself. I've violeted my trust in myself. My family's and friends' trust in me. The dean of the school and all my professors who have congratulated me on my excellence.
#mistrust #cheating #plagiarism #college #student #professors #work
I need someone to talk to. But I have no one to turn to. It is eating me up alive and I am spiralling.
#talk #confession #depressed #noone
We were off the main flow of the party and just chatting. Then I started flirting and he was flirting. Not sure how or who started it. This was my dads friend who was complimenting me. And a little touching as he tickled me. It was fun, exciting, and arousing all at the same time. Then he kissed me. As I pushed off, he started rubbing my crotch. Now I was wanting and allowing him to kiss and touch me. Next his hand is down my pants. And am feeling emboldened, so I rubbed his pants. On the outside, his dick felt thick and hard. I didn't have the courage to reach down his pants and verify it it was really that big. We remained fully dressed except my shirt he had unbuttoned enough to expose my braless tits. The perfect ones he said he had always adored in so many ways. One hand was on my tits as he licked and sucked. His other was fingering my pussy making it noisy and slushy. This was the best sex I ever had. I was biting my lip trying to keep quiet. As soon as I was about to come, we heard someone approaching. We quickly broke off and parted. He returned to the party and I went to my room. For at least an hour that night I fantasized and masturbated having multiple orgasms.
Now he wants more and I tell him it was a mistake. I said in case you didn't know, I am only 16, a virgin, and I don't act that way. And that he should just consider himself lucky to catch me at that time and place. But now we must move on and pretend it never happened.
If he's around for my 18th birthday party, I want to pickup where we left off. He's very attractive and obviously turns me on.
#flirting #complimenting #touching #rubbing #crotch #braless #licked #sucked #fingering #wet #orgasm #masturbate #young #16yo #attractive #older #pussy #tits #dick #sex #adored #expose #noisy #fantasy #virgin
I'm a girl in my mid-teens, a little chubby, smallish boobs. I have a great boyfriend, way better than I deserve really, he's hot, he's a total hunk, and on the football and baseball teams. We were having sex and for the last month or so he's been playing with my butt. Inserting his fingers, even while he's inside me having sex, he reaches down and will put a finger in my butt. He finally told me he needed to change things a bit and wanted to have sex in my butthole. I let him do it. But I guess I wasn't thinking, definitely wasn't prepared. While he was doing it, I asked him to stop and told him I needed to go to the bathroom but he wouldn't stop. I could feel as he was moving in and out of me back there that he had some poo on his penis. I couldn't help it, he wouldn't stop. I pooped all over us both. He kept going until he finished, and he told me to go get some towels, when I came back he made me pose for some pictures of my dirty behind, and even put his penis back in me to take more pictures. I cleaned him off first, then me. I'm not sure he wants to see me anymore, he hasn't returned my calls for 2 days.
I am so embarrassed.
#poop #accidental #anal
I'm a 21 year old gay male. Decent looking.
Anyway this starts all the way back in elementary school, I always felt different. I was the odd kid out and often picked on but if you were to look at me there would be no obvious reason. I was clean, looked normal but I was always off, this is when the horrible pattern started. I had met this kid, let's call him Cody, anyway we hit it off at first when school started because he was the new kid and I was a loner and we bonded over just running around at recess because neither of us liked sports (or ever were invited to play) and the swing set. As the year went on I thought everything was fine and normal, his mom even started volunteering at the school to serve snacks for the students which had given me a chance to meet his mom which I thought was great until i got pulled into the office one day. I was told that I was being suspended for harassing another student, it turns out Jake was deeply afraid of me and my vivid imagination, so afraid that he had pretended to be my friend so he wouldn't get hurt. His mom volunteered at the school to even keep an eye on me so she can see for herself what was going on. That's when I really knew something was wrong with me and what sickens me is that this exact same pattern of me finding one person and developing a dangerous fixation on them, my intent is never to harm them but I do... never physically but I'm so insecure in everything about myself. I need to pick a fight with them just to know that they care enough to argue back. I make up a sad story or suicide attempt to see how much they love me. I constantly push these boundaries to test how much they will take and if they will hurl me out of their lives too. This pattern has slowed down but not in a healthy way, ive now turned to opiates to give me that feeling of euphoria I would get when someone would say something nice to me or give me a hug. I'm up to about 160-200 mg of oxycodone use a day which I guess is enough to kill someone without a tollerance and everyday I wish I wouldn't wake up from my nod. When this isn't enough I turn to casual sex on grindr just so I can still feel sexy and desired, I never use condoms because I hope I get HIV, that'll kill me in a few years if I don't treat it hopefully. Oh I should also mention that the only person that ever loved me unconditionally no matter how bad I got died of cancer when I was 19, the same time my "fiancé" left me. He was actually pretty good at dealing with my crazy, he knew how to work around it but after losing my mom I got really bad. Wanna know what's funny? I have a high paying job! I'm really smart and manipulative so I was able to cheat a resume and land a 30$ an hour job, I just pretended I knew what was going on lol I've even bought a car recently. I have this random peaks of energy and sanity I think where I set a goal and then I work hard to acheieve it, all while hiding a drug addiction. This isn't easy to do but any addict can tell you that they'll figure something out to push them through the day. As you can see this is so haphazardly written because this is how my brain works, I'm never on a single path and do you want to know the sickest thing that torments me the most in my life? I love. I love so hard. I love everyone and everything. All I want to do is love each and every person on this earth and i know that I have enough compassion in my heart to go around to each one of you but with my deadly desire to be desired like that in return all I do is hurt anyone who crosses my path. I've stopped now. I even got on methadone to start saving up a chunk of money for my family and entered the methadone clinic who dose me every morning before work, then I go to my office, milk the fuck out of the clock, go home, pop some xanax or whatever drug I can get my hands on because I have stockpiled fake pee for the UA's and pass the fuck out. On my days off it's just a blur of some type of intoxication. The beauty of this is, I'm no longer harming anyone, I tell my family I'm just dedicated to my career and they believe me because they see the new diesel (used 2011) Ford Dually I bought. I'm not in emotional pain for the lack of not having human interactions. My account is growing slowly but since I don't pay rent I can put almost half my monthly income into savings. I've written a list of the names of all the people I've hurt and for each name is a letter telling them everything that's beautiful about them. In 6 more months (if my body can hold up to my downers at night and daytime stimulants) I'll leave on a positive note with my dads debt paid off and my brother a newer truck which he should be able to make the payments on with the way I got the loan set up. Fuck you guys I'm so sorry I've failed you all. I was supposed to be the one to take every tear and change it for you... there has never been a time when my compassion didn't bring joy to someone's face, in fact that's the only thing that's kept me here this long. Kill me if you want and can find out who posted this, it would help. Today is January 7th.. late July and the toxic creature that has infected our existence as a species will enter the void of nothingness. Damnit, I was supposed to be something so beneficial. Anyway, bye babes. You have my love - mine is not to reason why, yours is not to make reply for I am to do and die.
#insanity #death #suicide #fear #addiction #abandonment #loss
Paranoia. I once had a near death medical incident. Took a meds. Odd reaction. For a while I was paranoid. Then I went off the med and it passed.
But sometimes it tries to return. I learned to ignore it. For instance, sometimes I think people in my house are talking about me. Going thru my stuff. Even conspiring against me in a sense. So I recorded what they were saying. Listened when I was very calm and happy.
Sometimes they are saying hateful things about me. Sometimes they are mocking me. Sometimes one of them is trying to manipulate the others so together they can get their way and bulldoze me. So that’s not paranoia.
However; other things I recorded when my mind wondered are they talking about me, they were not.
In life most everyone is mentally disturbed to some level. Most everyone’s main focus is themself. They desire control. Seek a way to get control over others. To influence others. Not for bad per sa. If I’m nice people will be nice to me. If I look hot that cute person will date me because I want to be touched by them. You get it?
So in my case, I’ve spent my life around people who conspire together against others. It’s quite ridiculous, but think of gangs. Gang members are really cowards. Too afraid to stand up alone. But I’m a pack they have the power. 5 gang bangers together are not afraid of a frail old person. Give them guns and they will even take on a small healthy man. For me they’d want a tank or two.
Watch shark fest. I’m like an orca. I know I own the seas. I walk thru the world unafraid. Sure a nuclear sub could take me on. But other than that I’m all good. But most humans are like those little gray sharks. They need to form a pack to have real power.
This is why you’ll see really scared people walking with dogs. The nice scared people have labs. The mean scared people have pit bulls.
Stay away from any human who owns a pit bull. They may go violent on you for no reason one day.
See. Humans are a lot like animals. If you accept that parts of you function like an animal; but realize you have a conscious mind, then you can control false thoughts.
Thus; if you are feeling paranoid, that’s a basic survival skill. Zebras eat, but they watch for lions. Lions are always there. But lions suddenly spring out of the grass. They chase whichever they’ve picked. If it’s a group they zig and zag. The one that stumbles or goes the wrong way is eaten.
So your paranoid for a reason. But you have to accept in life there’s a certain level of danger. We all start to die the moment we are born. It’s a certainty. The absolute Ready Player One game. This game plays for keeps. Game over is game over forever here.
So I always wonder as the scared person on the walking trail with 5 dogs walks by, why not just buy a treadmill or join a gym?
The question is do you want to spend your entire life living in fear? Or do you want to live. Bad neighborhood? Try to save up and move. Not always an option. So stay indoors as much as possible.
Here’s something that boggles the mind. We need a border wall. The drugs coming across puts a lot of people in a grave. The drugs provide the wealth for gang leaders to form a gang. Then they branch out. Extortion, breaking into homes and cars. Rape. Intimidation. Random violence.
Take away those illegal drugs, and the gangs dry up. Poor people can control their streets again.
But some cities need new poor people to keep gov money coming in. To keep all their senate seats. Some companies and people want cheap labor.
Some people just feel compassion. Like for those unaccompanied children stumbling around.
So we get this. Drugs. Gangs.
Why not build the wall. But ask cities and states if they want illegals. If they do have buses waiting. Send them to airports. Funnel them into those systems. In this way, everyone is happy.
If you live in Iowa why do you care if Michigan wants a bunch of illegals? That’s like the distance of Spain from Norway. Just stay in Iowa and live your life. If those people in California bother you so much, don’t go there.
Compromise. Good people with money and resources to spare helping people who need help. Other people who don’t want to be involved left out of it. Inner city people able to walk to parks without the gangs. Kids not joining gangs out of fear. Teens not over dosing. Children not watching their parents over dosing. Isn’t that a better way than what we have now?
Don’t let your fear cause paranoia that overwhelms your life. A life of complete fear isn’t much of a life. But if that’s all you have, keep living it. Just make the best of whatever life you have. We are all trapped in our own skins.
Time for me to go back to being funny and obnoxious. I rarely let people see the real me. I like to hide behind an illusion.
TRDP
#paranoia #fear #survival #trdp #wall #border #hope #pitbull
Recently I have done some damage to some girls new car.. she had a new black Kia Soul and she got a promotion over me and I was really mad and I let my anger get the best of me.. I was walking in the parking lot and I had seen her car and got angry and decided to take my car key and run is long the trunk of her new Kia.. scratching the paint like 8 inches long I figured it wasn't enough and I stepped on her exhaust pipe and snapped it down to the ground, and then i took my key again and scratched the side of her Kia from top to bottom on the driver side in the back..
Hii reader I don’t know why what I am doing I am getting angry day by day I lost my tolerance today I hit my older sister and say many bad words to her and I have also fought with my mom I am really feeling bad what should I do I want to die but god is not listening I am not getting love my mom used to tell me tution fee cost which I feel bad that she is showing that what she is doing she is unique I am damn sure that not other mother do this thing..I am also praying that my crush loves me back..but he is 9 years older than me what should I do.
Slowly masturbating and exploring before I slept I would wonder what my friend's boobs looked like naked. Well last week we showered together. Her breasts are far superior to what I imagined. They are rounded on the bottom, firm and tipped upward. They had a nice bounce to them. She looks more like 17 and I look more like 14 with hopes of having a hot smoking body like her someday. Now knowing how she looks has made me worse. I dream of touching, feeling and exploring with her. If I try, will she pull away and reject me or trace my body with moist lips and wet tongue putting me into submission of forbiden sex. I am always horny but masturbation has been my only sex. I used to think boys, boys, boys, but now my friend has my curiousity. How is it that she gets me so wet and aroused?
Because I had a cold the last few days I didn't shower. But I had to drive my kids to school nevertheless and I had still some tasks to do. So I took my youngest boy (5 months old) and drove off to buy food. The only thing I could think of while in the store was a hot shower and I decided to drive home quickly to get one.
I bought all the stuff we needed and drove home. In the car on my way home I was sure I forgot something but I just couldn't find out what it was. At home, I immediately hopped under the shower and then I remembered!
I left my little son at the supermarket!!
I got back to the store and indeed, I left my son in his maxi cosi at the cash desk....
I know it's no excuse but I was very sick and I haven't slept for a few days. I can't tell you how sorry I am and this will not every happen again...
I want to confess that I am a terrible mother.
#mother #bad #terrible #cold #sick #shower #kids #forget #son #supermarket #store #confession #sin #despair
I'm a 17 year old boy and I like to be naked when my parents aren't home. When i'm home alone i run around naked in my backyard which isn't exactly to private. One of the busiest streets in the neighborhood can see into my backyard. I think k i've gotten caught a couple of times by people but i'm not sure. What can i say i like being nude.
#nude
I hired a older widow (in her early 70's) to answer the phone in my shop so I am not constantly interrupted working.
Knowing her from previous business dealings with her late husband and selling off their equipment after his death we have some history.
She is quite spry and has a sharp tongue with unruly clients.
Some years ago I installed a hidden camera in the floor at the roped-off entrance and got some good up-skirt shots from female clients still wearing skirts.
Now I installed a hidden camera under the office desk the widow is occupying. Until now I only got granny panty shots. I am hoping the summer heat will force them off her.
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