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I was hurt because of my siblings so I hurt my mom coz she was not punishing or scolding them.
I said mean words to her. I told her that I want her to die so I will be convinced she can't stand for me coz she is not here. I didn't talk with her for a month even I denied to eat anything she cooked for me. I was rude. It still hurts to think she didn't take stand for me but not more than what I said to her. I don't know if she will forgive me I don't know God will ever forgive me but I can't forgive myself ever for this sin.
#heartbreak #guilt #depression #shame #unforgettable #temper
My best friend told me that he’s dying and I haven’t talked to him over 10 days. I just ghosted him. I don’t know why, I just freaked. I was already mad at him because he called me out on some of my bs and instead of not defending myself as usual I vanish and hide as if it never happened. I’ve done this for decades when it becomes tough and not easy.
He’s a very blunt, honest guy, but I don’t know if I’m just too afraid to confront the fact he’s dying or I’m still mad that he called me out on my avoidance and confrontation issues. He said he’s been trying to find a way to tell me for a while because I’m so fragile and emotional and look what I do, I ghost him.
My husband doesn’t like him because he figured him out in 5 seconds and I sense jealousy. He knows we have this connection that we never have had and my friend knew my husband was a terrible braggart because he had low self esteem. He knew in seconds. He was right though.
We rarely saw each other much in many years because of my avoidance issues but my husband is obviously a factor. We never slept together, but we both wanted to. I love him, so why did I do this to him when he needs me the most?
Do I secretly hate him because he’s sick and dying like all my relatives back home I never get to see either? I don’t know what to do now that it’s been so long and he flipped out saying how cold I was being and his friend accused me of being a child that needs to grow up.
We’re in our mid 40s as it is but I can’t figure out exactly why I did this at all and am still doing it. I pretend I’m ok, but I keep thinking of him, then have sex with my husband and think of him. No matter what I do I think of him and want to cry but also smack myself in the face and seek him out and apologize.
I don’t know why I did this but I can’t seem to stop. Am I weak and a horrible friend? Am I what he said I was, or am I just a b**ch and in denial? I just don’t know, yet I keep avoiding the best friend I ever had who never treated me bad like everyone else did. Do I just deserve to be miserable or am I just a horrible, weak person? I honestly don’t know anymore and I hate myself and often cry for hours. I just can’t stop.
I'm a 21 year old gay male. Decent looking.
Anyway this starts all the way back in elementary school, I always felt different. I was the odd kid out and often picked on but if you were to look at me there would be no obvious reason. I was clean, looked normal but I was always off, this is when the horrible pattern started. I had met this kid, let's call him Cody, anyway we hit it off at first when school started because he was the new kid and I was a loner and we bonded over just running around at recess because neither of us liked sports (or ever were invited to play) and the swing set. As the year went on I thought everything was fine and normal, his mom even started volunteering at the school to serve snacks for the students which had given me a chance to meet his mom which I thought was great until i got pulled into the office one day. I was told that I was being suspended for harassing another student, it turns out Jake was deeply afraid of me and my vivid imagination, so afraid that he had pretended to be my friend so he wouldn't get hurt. His mom volunteered at the school to even keep an eye on me so she can see for herself what was going on. That's when I really knew something was wrong with me and what sickens me is that this exact same pattern of me finding one person and developing a dangerous fixation on them, my intent is never to harm them but I do... never physically but I'm so insecure in everything about myself. I need to pick a fight with them just to know that they care enough to argue back. I make up a sad story or suicide attempt to see how much they love me. I constantly push these boundaries to test how much they will take and if they will hurl me out of their lives too. This pattern has slowed down but not in a healthy way, ive now turned to opiates to give me that feeling of euphoria I would get when someone would say something nice to me or give me a hug. I'm up to about 160-200 mg of oxycodone use a day which I guess is enough to kill someone without a tollerance and everyday I wish I wouldn't wake up from my nod. When this isn't enough I turn to casual sex on grindr just so I can still feel sexy and desired, I never use condoms because I hope I get HIV, that'll kill me in a few years if I don't treat it hopefully. Oh I should also mention that the only person that ever loved me unconditionally no matter how bad I got died of cancer when I was 19, the same time my "fiancé" left me. He was actually pretty good at dealing with my crazy, he knew how to work around it but after losing my mom I got really bad. Wanna know what's funny? I have a high paying job! I'm really smart and manipulative so I was able to cheat a resume and land a 30$ an hour job, I just pretended I knew what was going on lol I've even bought a car recently. I have this random peaks of energy and sanity I think where I set a goal and then I work hard to acheieve it, all while hiding a drug addiction. This isn't easy to do but any addict can tell you that they'll figure something out to push them through the day. As you can see this is so haphazardly written because this is how my brain works, I'm never on a single path and do you want to know the sickest thing that torments me the most in my life? I love. I love so hard. I love everyone and everything. All I want to do is love each and every person on this earth and i know that I have enough compassion in my heart to go around to each one of you but with my deadly desire to be desired like that in return all I do is hurt anyone who crosses my path. I've stopped now. I even got on methadone to start saving up a chunk of money for my family and entered the methadone clinic who dose me every morning before work, then I go to my office, milk the fuck out of the clock, go home, pop some xanax or whatever drug I can get my hands on because I have stockpiled fake pee for the UA's and pass the fuck out. On my days off it's just a blur of some type of intoxication. The beauty of this is, I'm no longer harming anyone, I tell my family I'm just dedicated to my career and they believe me because they see the new diesel (used 2011) Ford Dually I bought. I'm not in emotional pain for the lack of not having human interactions. My account is growing slowly but since I don't pay rent I can put almost half my monthly income into savings. I've written a list of the names of all the people I've hurt and for each name is a letter telling them everything that's beautiful about them. In 6 more months (if my body can hold up to my downers at night and daytime stimulants) I'll leave on a positive note with my dads debt paid off and my brother a newer truck which he should be able to make the payments on with the way I got the loan set up. Fuck you guys I'm so sorry I've failed you all. I was supposed to be the one to take every tear and change it for you... there has never been a time when my compassion didn't bring joy to someone's face, in fact that's the only thing that's kept me here this long. Kill me if you want and can find out who posted this, it would help. Today is January 7th.. late July and the toxic creature that has infected our existence as a species will enter the void of nothingness. Damnit, I was supposed to be something so beneficial. Anyway, bye babes. You have my love - mine is not to reason why, yours is not to make reply for I am to do and die.
#insanity #death #suicide #fear #addiction #abandonment #loss
My brothers friend is 9 years younger than me and I always catch him staring at my bulge. One night I was hanging out in my underwear when he came to our house for a sleepover. I knew straight away I should put on pants, but I was kind of turned on by the fact he liked to look at me. Lil later on I pretended to fall asleep bulging right at him and I peeked to see him having a tug in his shorts. I started growing to the point of throbbing when he snuck over to feel my cock. He made me cum in my underwear, rubbing the head. I pretended to stay asleep and he pulled my cock out, and used my cum as lube to shoot his load onto mine. I’ll never forget it.
My Name is Jimmy and I have a confession so back in Middle and High School I had realized I had a fetish for Underwear and Socks and it turns out I was more turned on getting stripped to mine along with the sight of other's in theirs's. I think it all began in the locker room in middle school after I stripped down to my white cotton briefs and socks and some of the others boys all looked at me, I was 5 foot 6 and only weighed 120 pounds at the time and I have very skinny pale legs and when the moment I stepped out of my clothes and shoes and was standing in my underwear and socks well that's when it all began for me.
One Boy actually gave me a wedgie while another one began slapping my legs with a shirt of theirs's and I tried to hide it but it turned me on actually. Maybe i'm just a glutton for punishment but anytime i'm in my undies I get horny especially in the locker room where I get wedgied, and one time a boy actually listed me off the ground in just my briefs and socks and one other boy went up and started to tickle me which almost caused me and the other boy to fall.
Yes it does turn out i'm very ticklish and I learned that one day outside. I was wearing a red shirt, khaki shorts, white socks, and red shoes and one day some guys jumped me and then they started taking my clothes and shoes off leaving me in my briefs and socks. Then they started to tickle me all over my body my armpits, sides and my feet. My Feet are very ticklish and when they tickled the bottoms of my socked feet I laughed like a girl and the thing is they always kept my socks on and I also remember when they sniff my feet and say they stink which made me feel a buldge in my briefs.
To tell you the truth me and them are all friends and have been for years and they refer to me as underwear boy because if there's anything I love to do now and that's being in my undies and socks all the time. Anytime we changed for gym i'd get in my underwear and socks and let them do as they please with me. One time they carried me outside the school and tossed me in their arms in a game called "Catch the Underwear Boy" and it was so fun being tossed around in my undies and socks but we all get in trouble for doing that because I was in my underwear and socks and being seen by everyone at school.
Every Day at home i'd always be in my underwear and socks but my parents told me to put my clothes on at dinner or when we had guests over or if anyone rang the doorbell, but I hate clothes and shoes because they constrict me and all I want to do is be in my undies and socks. I hang out with my friends in my undies and socks and they don't mind as they take every opportunity to paly with me and tickle and smell my stinky socked feet.
I also go to the beach in my undies and socks and even swim in my undies and socks I never wear swim trunks and my socks stay on. Some people think i'm a weirdo but i'm not I love being in my underwear and socks. In fact as i am sharing my story all I am wearing right now are a pair of white hanes briefs and socks while sitting on my knees. If anyone has any stories to share and if you had similar experiences please comment I want to read them.
I fear I've masturbated more times than I'll ever have sex and I deeply regret it.
#masturbation #sex #regret #fear
It’s not a confess but I want some help. I’m a 19 year-old Middle Eastern girl who loves a 27 year-old Brazilian guy whom I met online in December 2018. He travels a lot and he sometimes talks about traveling to my country and meet me. I love him as I mentioned above but he never mentioned that he loves me or not he just told me twice that he “admires me” and told me once that he doesn’t feel the age gap between us, nothing more. The problem is that I understand that we are so different to be together, for example I follow a religion while he doesn’t and the cultural differences of course. What should I do with this love?
In highschool I was a loser. But one day while I was eating lunch in some corner this cute girl asked if she could sit with me. We talked and exchanged numbers. We then texted all the time. It was so cool and I was really liking her. I would get butterflies when I’d see her messages. She asked me to meet her at her house one day to watch movies. I showed up and all her friends were there and they all started laughing at me and calling me names. I went home so upset and asked her why she did this and she said she bet her friend she could get the “weird” kid to like her. Flash forward 10 years and her mom works for me and tells me how miserable her daughters life is and how she has no job. I asked her mom if she wanted I’d hire her daughter. That’s going to be real fun if it happens. Her mom has no clue what happened between us either.
I save money by re-using toilet paper coffee filters and underwear. I wear this underwear for two weeks now, it's still clean enough, why bothering?
Workplace romances are a mistake. I was seeing this married woman in her 40s. I was single and a virgin when we first met... when we first met... i saw her sitting and talking with her coworker. I was coming off a flight from LA when she was there... so beautiful. I saw her again coming into work. We looked at eachother with almost the same look of attraction. I was too shy to say anything but before I knew it she stretched out her hand to me and introduced herself. We shook hands and I introduced myself. Seemed like from that point on our friendship blossomed. We would see eachother often at work. Sometimes late at night and talking was so easy between us. We got really close. In hindsight, maybe too close.
More than a month after that first handshake... I made a move... we flirted for a lttle bit but I took it to the next level. I wanted her. She was so beautiful for her age and took really good care of her body. I had to touch her. The crazy thing is... she obliged. She was thinking the same thing. After that we started talking about sex and how we could do it. One night at work, an opportunity presented itself. We were like schoolchildren. It was so risky and scary but we did it in the men's bathroom. While we were at work no less! I will never forget that first kiss. After that first time we were mating like rabbits. Taking every opprotunity and even making some of our own. I don't know if pornstars get that much sex in the time we were together but it was almost every day for 4 years straight. Our relationship was more than just passion though. We would have lunch and talking like normal people was still easy to us. We fell in love right away. She was everything to me. But I knew that I could not be the same for her. I knew that my situation could not support her and her kid if she left her husband for me. But i knew she cared deeply for me. She always pushed me to better myself. Working out, going back to school, even helping me with my finances. She showed me how to become a man. I had everything I ever wanted. Or so I thought.
Like any normal couple, we too would have confrontations and squabbles. Fights between us would break out at first because one would suspect the other of cheating. Ironic isn't it? But it would blow over quickly and we would resume our daily "ritual" so to speak. But the fights got worse and I being the passionate one would say hurtful things to her. I regret them so much. But she always forgave me and I was always greatful and in tears when she did. One day her forgiveness ran out. She had gotten tired of my hurtful words. And said that it was enough. From that point... I had lost her love... I would try to leave her alone as we still worked in the same place. I would still see her and would just give me pain. It was almost too obvious on what was going through my mind.
We had pretty much successfully kept the true nature of our relationship hidden from our co-workers the whole time we were together. Thank goodness. I don't know what I would do if I was responsible for ruining her life. But I can't do anything now. I still love her. Everytime I see her it's like a piece of me dies. I don't know if she even knows what I'm going through. Can she see my pain? Does she even care? I wish I could move on. I wish someone could come and save me from this pain. But It's too unbearable to move one. This is my pennance. This is my curse. Suffering in silence. Burned alive from the inside out by the same fire that fueled my passion for this perfect woman who changed my life. Who will always have my heart.
I always feel sympathy for boys and end up being with them because I feel sorry for them. Instead of because I like them. They end up cheating on me and I end up being heartbroken and sad.
I have been with my boyfriend for two months now, in these two months I am not allowed to follow any boys on Instagram while he follows girls, he made me delete pictures of me on Instagram, he’s insecure and I hate it. I always have to change and do something for him to just be like yes I trust you now. I loved him at the start but now it’s just annoying.
He wants to marry and have a baby but I’m more scared of never having a life besides him. I’m not even 21 yet he is. It’s just unfair how he wants me to just give him that kind of promise. When all he does is make me change change change for him. I’m to afraid to even say hey that is kind of hypocritical of you following girls. He’s just not good at keeping his temper down, he has called a bitch to fuck off and whatever fuck this and you, laughed when I said oh well I’m trying to not to cut or anything right now could u talk nice and help me. Then when we makeup get cry’s and says I didn’t mean it why do u want me and it’s just a game at this point . And I’m tired of playing it.
he’s my first boyfriend the first one I showered with first I slept at his house wit h first to do a lot things. I just do t think this is how trust and a relationship goes
I still love her and can't let her go. I need to though because she has fallen for another person... This is my final prayer, please find happiness, and I will find it as well...
If we ever meet again,
be it on better terms...
#heartbreak #love #loss
I am a single mother of two. I have a son, who is 7, and a daughter, who is 4. I'd like to confess that I love my son more than my daughter. I know everyone says that you'd love your children equally, but this is not the case.
My son is perfect. My daughter... not so much.
I always wanted two children and I always wanted to have a boy and a little girl. But since my daugher is developing her personality and ACTUALLY becomes a human being with emotions and expressions other than hungry, angry and overjoyed, I cannot seem to cope.
My husband thinks that's normal and it will go away. But I am not so sure.
He is pressuring me to spend more time with her alone ... to bond I guess. But it gets just exhausting after a while.
Of course, I still love her. But she is not the sunshine in my life.
I try to hide it, but I think deep down she knows. I think she can feel it.
#mother #daughter #love #son #preference #equally #heartless #family
I'm a 17 year old female. I have been masturbating since before I knew what the word even meant. I just think it feels good and I know it isn't bad, but I feel very lewd and hate that I do it. I tried stopping at one point, but I'm now addicted to it....
I also believe I am a lesbian, but still a tiny bit unsure (pretty sure I am though). Although, I've only ever liked girls. Mostly straight girls. I feel like I have the worst luck when it comes to the love life that I don't have. Everytime something good happens, soon after, something bad or heartbreaking happens. Cupid is just fucking with me and screwing me over every time. I've never dated anyone before. I'm still in the closet, but I think I'll come out on my 18th bday. At least to my family.
I've liked several girls, all unrequited unfortunately. Right now I like one of my classmates who sits next to me, but we aren't that close. I was pretty sure she is straight and seeing her a Homecoming with a guy made me confirm that in my heart, which really started hurting the rest of the night. Everyone says love is the best, but even though I have liked someone, it has mostly only been heartbreaking. I know that I would never ever get the girl I like, even if I was a guy. This has been going on since 6th grade now and I'm getting tired of falling in love. I try so hard to get rid of my feelings, bit then something happens and I fall right back in. Then, like I said before, Cupid will screw with me and soon after something depressing will happen. I sometimes wish I didn't have feelings as I fall in love way too easily and all it does is hurt my heart. I'm going to wind up an old, lonely, cat lady...I just know it.... ._.
I (f/24) would like to confess that I used Craigslist and eBay to sell my worn and used panties.
The actual confession is that I kind of liked it. Some 'customers' had requests that I wear the panties several days in a row to get them "dirty".
AND the best thing: I earned a lot of money.
I might start doing it again...
I am afraid to tell anyone I am lesbian. For years I have denied it, because I always second guess myself, and because I have never dated anyone I have just lied about it. I am stuck and miserable, my family already tries to shove God at me whenever they can. I am afraid of the reactions my friends would have. I feel so alone in this right now, I pretend to be interested in guys just so my family wont find out, because I know it'll all go to shit once they do. I am being judged by the people in my life that say who I am is disgusting, and they don't even know they are directing it at me. It fucking sucks, and I feel like lying is the only choice I have now.
#lies #lesbian #confession #family #friends #alone #fear #judgement
I use to be a delivery man and I meet this girl in the poor part of town. I never gave her my real name but we hooked up ever few months for about a year. A few months after one of our hook ups she texted me saying she was pregnant. I wasn't gonna deal with that. Got a new phone number and acted like I never saw it. A few years later I got couriious and looked her up on Facebook. Sure enough she was rasing our son. I facebook stalked for years. Finally around the time he was 10 then I had my life together I had partied. And I "accedsntly' ran into her at a dave n busters party she tagged herself as going to. Once I saw her I pulled her to the side and acted like I never knew what happened to her. She told me all about our son. We ended up getting into a relationship and getting married. She treats me like I saved them because being a low income single mother is hard. My confession is a do honestly feel bad for making her do it all on her own. But if I tell her now it's going to wreak the rest of our lives.....
17 year old, Tomás.
I sued my parents. It was very easy. I went to the local court and told the laywer in tears my parents are alcoholic and they beat me up every day. That's not true, my dad is a loyal banker and my mom works in a kindergarten. They now got a restraining order and are not allowed to go near me.
They don't even know about it yet.
#parents #court #tears #restraining #order
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